So, I've gotta tell ya, things are busy here in unemployed land.

A. Get in shape, girl! (Did anyone have that but me? Remind me to post on that some other time.)
Signed up for the Breast Cancer Three-Day this morning, after attending a very persuasive lecture on it last night. I decided I am going to keep a journal on it, so If you'd like to see that,check this link out.

B.I wrote a song about it. Like ta hear it, here it goeeess.
(The first person to get what that is from- besides AMY - wins nothing, but praise.)

Tonight I had guitar, and I learned more chords and two strumming patterns. Now I know A, A7, D, E, E7, and G.That makes me able to play shoddy versions of several songs, including:

Midnight Special
IKO IKO
Blue Suede Shoes
Mercedes Benz
I Walk the Line
Three Little Birds
The Tide is High

None of which are great, mind you, but they come out.
Ask me to play one, if you've got a dolla' on ya.
Just throw it in my case.

Amy Crawford's new song,
"Will to Live"

I feel miserable
Lies make me ill
I feel miserable
Religions tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Assholes are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because of hypocracy that I feel this way?
With the purple rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Frost, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Marty Broke My Will to Live
Marty Broke My Will to Live
Marty Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Marty Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable
Politicians rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Falsehoods defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Misrepresentations are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because of hypocracy that I feel this way?
With the purple rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Frost, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Marty Broke My Will to Live
Marty Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, Marty Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Marty Broke My Will to Live

Make your own Alanis Morrissette song, courtesy of the Alanis song generator.

Possibly the funniest mistake ever. Tell me you wouldn't go there everytime you wanted to rent a movie!

Hey, awesome. There is going to be a meteor shower here on the 18th, the biggest since 1966. Only problem? From 4 to 6 in the freakin' morning!

I went to get a massage yesterday, at this place here called Thousand Waves (It is a super-dope women's spa, with a connecting school that teaches Jujitsu and Tae Kwon Do). I was all down for it, because I successfully avoided scheduling an appointment with the masseuse I had there last time, Sandgren. She was like, a nice hippie-esque girl, who highly stressed the importance of water due to sore muscles, and icing if there was any after-pain - but who seriously touched me so softly I thought my cat was walking on my back. I mean, if I am gonna drop some buck-skis on a massage, then get IN there, youknowwhati'msayin'? So, anyway, went to go meet my masseuse, and the scheduler was like, "Hey, we switched you to Sandy. She's really good. Into deep-tissue." Hey, twist my arm. I am in! So I walk back into the room, and I hold out my hand and say, "Hi- are you my masseuse? I'm Tara," and she's like, "Yeah, I know. I'm Sandy. We've met." She holds out a limp wrist and sweaty palm.

SANDGREN! NOoooooooOOOOOOOooooOOOooooooOoo.

But, here's the kicker. I decide to act quickly, to tell her I need the DEEPEST TISSUE MASSAGE known to man, and she's like, "Sure. Okay. Will do." She leaves the room, I sigh, hop on the table, and want to cry, forty five greenbacks down the sh*tter. Then, as if I was in some Bugs-Bunnyesque cartoon, Sandgren re-enters with a vengeance; seemingly pulling some crazy switcheroo on me- showing me the Whole-Foods-y granola girl, and bringing in the 350# Swedish Masseuse. She was "warming my tissue" and "reconfiguring" parts of me that weren't so hip to reconfigurement. The whole time, I sat there taking it, because I am AN IDIOT.

Fill the Brita, and get out the icy-hot. GOOD LORD.

Any of you true blue readers- you may have noticed that I lost all my comments off of reblogger (the comments above each post). So, I am giving a new service - BlogBack - a try. Sorry. I was sad, too.